Evolution hasn’t done too bad to get us where we are today, we don’t live in caves anymore and I’m better looking than a monkey. However I think there are 3 key improvements that could be made, which will make babies and parents lifs a lot easier. So whoever sorts this kind of stuff out….God, Jesus, Bill Gates, Kanye West…….whoever, listen up:
A fill line – We basically spent the first months of Effy’s life trying figure out the world’s most difficult puzzle……why is she crying??? It’s easy to check if she has shit her pants or we’ve dropped her on the floor (we have never actually dropped her on the floor, this was added in for comedic value). What is impossible to work out is…..if she’s hungry. A simple fill line, like a petrol gauge would work perfectly. Now I’m not an idiot, I don’t think this should remain in place forever; it could simply dissolve away or fall off when they can communicate. However there may be some benefit to keeping it in place, as it may also solve the obesity problem….double winner.
Teeth – why can’t babies be born with teeth….now I know this won’t go down well with breast feeding mums, but surely some sort of gum shield can be fashioned to protect your nips. I just think it’s pretty unfair for the baby to just start getting into a routine, loving life, with no worries, then bang……red cheeks, drippling like a dog and horrible pain. Get all this out of the way in womb and life would be easier.
Ability to lie still – I’ve touched on this in my ‘What’s that??’ post but feel it deserves a place in my top 3 improvements. Effy’s legs are never sill, she moves constantly and I’m certain that if I could transfer her leg speed into running, she’d be rapid…but she’s only just mastered sitting up, so we are some way off that. My difficulty comes when we need to put clothes on her; society is very clear….a naked baby in public isn’t appropriate, so clothing her is essential. Babies clothes aren’t the easiest or best designed items of clothing, all those buttons are a nightmare and don’t even get me started on tights. Nevertheless, if Effy could lie still, it would make for a much simpler dressing routine. I’m not asking for a long period of time, couple of minutes will do, maybe a little bit more for awkward clothes. It would be a win win really, Effy wouldnt need to scream and I wouldn’t feel like I’m wrestling a uncontrollable octopus (not sure any octopus’ can be controlled but you get the picture)
If anyone knows of anyone I can get to arrange this, let me know. Also happy to pitch any of your improvement ideas.