Will I change my mind

I’m really not looking for advice here, this post is really a rhetorical question to myself. Its more about me sharing my attitude with you lovely people. I’ am however keen to get your opinion, as I’ve already had a lot of criticism from people about the below points. I typically get a response of; “you’ll be different when she’s older.” I accept that some of this may make me look like a right twat and yes you may sit there and think “who the fuck is this guy.” I accept I’m a new parent but I’m a parent nonetheless and all of the below is my opinion, So here goes, a view into my brain box;

Feed Effy crap – You’ll most likely notice that food features highly in this post, I won’t make any apology for this, I’m a healthy eater, have been since I got sick of eating pot noddles, watched a lot of Jamie Oliver and taught myself how to cook. Yes I sometimes eat crap, I love pies and have always had a sweet tooth (it’s a family thing), but on the whole my diet is good and I want Effy’s to be the same. We have started weaning her and have on the whole stayed away from packets and jars. Some people are amazed by this and repeatedly question our sanity, let’s clear up any confusion about baby food and its preparation……. we boil and then blend, it’s a 2 step process and hardly Michelin stared cuisine. She eats the veg and meat that we eat so it literally couldn’t get any simpler. We batch cook loads and stick it in the freezer. I want her to get used to normal veg, most packets have a mixture of all different types of fruit and veg. I don’t eat like that, I’ve never eaten sweet potatoes with pear, so why should she. It’s a trick used to sweeten foods, whilst keeping out additives, sugar and E numbers. She needs to learn that not all foods are sweet, and you know what, she is enjoying most vegetables by themselves. The only one she hasn’t enjoyed so far is turnip, but let’s be honest, turnip isn’t the greatest veg in the patch. Yes she will get treats, I’m not going to one of them parents that sends their kids to parties with a carrot stick, we will teach her to make the right choices. I see a lot of parents bribe their kids with chocolate or crisp, I’d rather bribe her with money, it’ll do less damage to her health.

Hair band before she has hair – much to my OH’s disgust, I’m pretty strict on this one. By definition it’s “a band for securing or tying back one’s hair”. She’s got less hair that Karl Pilkington and I’m almost certain he wouldn’t wear a hair band. My OH dressed her for Easter last weekend and managed to sneak one on, now she obviously looks really cute, but it was quickly removed and normality restored.



Let her eat a different meal to us – We went to an Easter Egg hunt at the weekend, pointless with a 6 month old….she’s shit at hunting. Anyway…..There were obviously a few other parents there and one in particular was describing how her 5yr old will only eat dry pasta and garlic bread. So every night she makes a meal, which her daughter will refuse to eat, she is then given dry pasta and garlic bread. Obviously there may be more to it and I’m really not judging the parent, or child for that matter. It did however make me consider and appreciate how important I feel it is that Effy eats what we do and at the times we do. As Im sure every parent does, I want meal times to be enjoyable I don’t want a battle. I certainly don’t want her to eat a diet that purely consists of double carbs. Yes she might not like curry, she might not like certain fish, that’s absolutely fine. What I struggled to understand is how does it become the norm for your child to just eat dry pasta?? Is it the same reason it becomes the norm for kinds to eat crisps for breakfast, the same reason why childhood obesity is rising at an alarming rate and the same reason Jamie Oliver lost his shit over turkey twizzlers. I actually don’t know the reason and have absolutely no control over what other people do. However in my house, meals times will be a thing. Not only to benefit Effy but to benefit the family as a whole.

Let her eat a sausage roll in public – so this is a fairly specific and a bit weird but hear me out. I absolutely hate to see a baby or even toddler in a pram/pushchair eating a sausage roll. It doesn’t have to be a sausage roll but I rarely see a baby eating a steak and kidney pie so I’m narrowing it down to sausage rolls. It’s probably important to note at this point that I generally don’t have much love for sausage rolls, they are a pitiful excuse for a pastry based snack, which everyone seems to love, I don’t….they’re wet, have oddly coloured meat and are quite frankly a waste of good pastry. For those of you who don’t live ‘up north’ and aren’t familiar with what I’m talking about, here’s a picture;

See doesn’t even look nice. Back to my point….by nature these are messy and flaky to eat, they aren’t very healthy and Im guessing offer no nutritional benefit to a child. So when I see a baby/toddler in a pram, covered in pastry, it really does make me question why the child was so desperate for food, they had to be given something shit and eat it immediately whilst sitting in their pram. Was it been used a tool to keep them quiet, was it their actual lunch or was it just a treat. Now if it’s a treat, fair enough but I still don’t think a child should be allowed to cover themselves in pastry and then just sit in it. If its their lunch, then fuck me what do they get for breakfast and tea, if it’s the only way to keep them quiet then there’s bigger issues. My OH thinks I’m a bit weird to have even thought about this, but I see it all the time where I live and I just think its shit.

Let her have a boyfriend – Now I’m obviously not been overly serious on this one, but it does scare me, I know what boys are like. I haven’t always been the perfect boyfriend I am today 😉😉, I’ve been a twat to a lot of women over the years, I’m sure if any of them were reading this they would agree (please don’t comment). I’m only 30 but I think in a very short space of time, things are a lot worse. The pressures that teenage girls are put under by their peers, the media and the opposite sex, is far greater than what it was when I was younger. I want a lot of things for Effy but above the standard; healthy and happy. I want her to feel confident to make the right choices not based on external pressures or influences but on what she wants and feels comfortable with. So don’t bother boys…..she’s not interested and her dads a dick.

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7 Comments Add yours

  1. rightroyalmother says:

    I love this – found it because I read your ‘night out’ post but this is ace. The sausage roll thing isn’t a thing down south but I absolutely agree with you – I am trying hard to cook even though I am SHIT at it because, well, there isn’t a reason not to as I’m on mat. leave and I don’t want my children thinking endless packets of pears, blueberries and strawberries is a real thing. Each to his own but also with you on the hairbands! x

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    1. dadupnorth says:

      Thank you. Yeah I’m lead to believe sausage rolls don’t exist down south. This really isn’t a bad thing, you’re not missing out. Those packets baffle me, when my OH wants to get rid of me in the supermarket, I often spend time looking at the weird concoctions just to amuse myself (is that weird).

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      1. rightroyalmother says:

        Yes, a bit. And probably doesn’t do you any favours!

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  2. Another great post!! Although I will have to tell you my side of the story regarding some of your points…! I definitely agree that mixing fruit into the baby jars and sachets that have veg in, is wrong, and I also had no problem with home making both of my children’s food, like you said, it’s a simple batch bake of lightly boil and blend, often with a few chunks of roasted veg etc thrown in for them to chew on/good measure!
    However, by the age of around 18 months, neither of my children would eat very much at all. In fact, the eldest went through a period of refusing food altogether, and got so skinny that we took him to the gp. Apparently it can be really common, and they said they would give us build up drinks if he continued to lose weight, but luckily it never got that far. BUT, at 3, and 2 years old, pretty much all they will eat is cheerios, scrambled egg, bread, raisins, and any snack made by Organix. This drives me up the wall, and I still leave bowls of fresh fruit laying around, and offer them a good old home made spag bol or fish pie as often as I can, only to have it gagged on (the eldest can be dramatically sick if he chooses to be,) or thrown on the floor. My nephew only eats plain rice and plain cornflakes, and I always wondered how the hell they had got to that place with him, but food is an every day struggle in our house now! It pains me that that is the way it is, and I constantly wonder if I do things wrong, but then I wonder if I’ve done everything wrong, and need to stop beating myself up about thinking I’m a huge failure in all areas! I just think that if I keep educating the children about healthy eating, and keep offering, hopefully one day they will learn to make the right choices…
    Totally with you on hair bands for babies… I can’t stand it!!!!!!
    And I have 2 boys, but wonder how I would’ve felt if I had a girl, worrying about the boys in her future. Like you admitted, men are most often dicks when they’re young, and I was at the receiving end of plenty of men who were complete assholes, before I met my husband. The thought of some of the things that happened to me, happening to a daughter of my own, fills me with anger, and I don’t even have one!!!!! So good luck keeping Effy safe….
    Thanks for sharing with #bigpinklink!

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    1. dadupnorth says:

      Thanks for your reply. I absolutely appreciate that things will not always go as smoothly as Id like in regards to food. I genuinely think that 99% of parents are like you and are actively encouraging good choices. I’m mainly focusing on the 1% who make no effort to encourage good choices and quite happily encourage bad ones.

      if I can keep Effy away from the blokes similar to the 19yr old me, I’d be happy.

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  3. love your posts 🙂 just discovered your blog on one of the linkies. we made our own food too and it was super simple. some of my friends purchased these fancy “baby food makers” for hundreds of pounds. I found a steamer and a blender worked well??! and then batch froze. easy peasy. my boy is nearly 3 and over all eats really really well. (my blog started out actually about feeding him and making healthy food fun for him). we also feed him what we eat, if he doesn’t want it, tough (he does get offered a banana if he says he is hungry a bit later – im not that mean) but I def wont be cooking umpteen meals.

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    1. dadupnorth says:

      Thanks for discovering my blog. Eating what we eat is a huge thing for me, pleased to hear its been a success for you. I’m prepared for some battles.

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